Improve Yourself 2: Genshai—Don’t Make Anyone Feel Small

This continues our series on improving yourself to get the biggest raises & best promotions

Marsha had a small disability that barely hindered her work. She worked hard to earn a bachelor’s degree from a globally ranked private university. She interned at a training program where everyone respected and appreciated her easy-going personality, hard-work, and willingness to help others. She even volunteered at a community program where she impressed them with her compassion and competence. Everyone who knew Marsha respected her—except Marsha herself. She almost did not get her dream job, because they felt she lacked confidence.

Do Not Treat Others Small

We encourage you to read Kevin Hall’s book Aspire: Discovering Your Purpose Through the Power of Words. He writes of a Hindi word that “could have more meaning than Charity.”

Hall describes a conversation he had with the famous Viennese designer, Pravin Cherkoori.

“The word is Genshai…It means that you should never treat another person in a manner that would make them feel small.’…Pravin continued ‘As children, we were taught to never look at, touch, or address another person in a way that would make them feel small. If I were to walk by a beggar in the street and casually toss him a coin, I would not be practicing Genshai. But, if I knelt down on my knees and looked him in the eye when I placed that coin in his hand, that coin became love. Then and only then, after I had exhibited pure, unconditional brotherly love, would I become a true practitioner of Genshai.” (Aspire, 8% of Kindle version)

Do Not Treat Yourself Small

Genshai also refers to how you treat yourself. You cannot make yourself feel small and practice Genshai. Kevin Hall writes:

“The way I treat myself reflects the way I treat others.”

“When I treat myself with dignity and respect, it will be reflected in the way I treat others. If I treat myself with disdain and contempt, that will be reflected in the way I treat others.”

Friday we share the concept of Namaste to respect one another’s authenticity & uniqueness

This blog will improve as you submit comments, questions, and experiences. We will answer your questions in future blog posts. Please submit your comments and questions so we can answer them.

Improve Yourself 1: Are You an Appreciator or Depreciator?

This begins a series about how to improve yourself to get the biggest raises & best promotions
We’re going to return to a follow-up on a character we’ve discussed before. Barry worked for the same company for 34 years. He moved around in his career within the organization with revolving assignments managing field operations and working on the headquarters staff with global responsibilities. He moved himself to a very nice field position to finish out his career. For the last three years changes in the organization depressed his passion for the work. Rather than move on, or accept the changes, he became a negative influence on colleagues and co-workers.

Hearing Kevin Hall, The Author of Aspire

We recently heard Kevin Hall, the author of Aspire Discovering Your Purpose Through the Power of Words, speak at a convention. We want to share some of his concepts and encourage you to buy his book Aspire. Two words that touched us deeply were the words depreciators and appreciators .

Depreciators Bring Others Down

Depreciators decrease others. Hall highlighted that the prefix de- means to reduce or make less. Listen to the words that begin with de- decrease, deflate, depreciate, and depress. Each word describes making something small or less. The words themselves deflate our spirit or attitude.
Hall cautions against being a depreciator. At first, I thought he meant thinking ill of others. I had confused the word for deprecate or to put down. Deprecators push others down. Depreciators pull them down. Depreciators, as we understand it, begin in a low spot and pull others down to their level.

Appreciators Lift Those Around Them

Appreciators lift others. Hall indicate that the prefix ap- is a derivative of ad-. It implies direction and increasing such as appear, , appreciate, or aptitude. Appreciators improve or add to those around them. Appreciators express gratitude to others. They also make others more valuable as in appreciating a piece of machinery or a home appreciates in value.
Companies, co-workers, and others reward appreciators.
Wednesday we explore Kevin Hall’s principle of Genshai to not treat yourself or others small
This blog will improve as you submit comments, questions, and experiences. We will answer your questions in future blog posts. Please submit your comments and questions so we can answer them.

Surviving Poor Management 21: Focus on What Matters

This continues our series on how to survive poor management at work and grow

Margaret shared advice with one of her colleagues. She highlighted the need to focus on what matters. She highlighted how easy unimportant or non-essential issues distract us from what matters most. She follows her own advice and became one of the top 4 producing operations in 120 operation chain. Her focus allowed her to out produce operations with four times the potential clients as her market. Focusing on what matters most also helped her survive the frustrations of poor management.

Identify What Matters Most

A key to surviving poor management will require you to focus on what matters most, rather than those things related to the poor management. Each company, each project team, will define what matters most for them. The company culture also influences what matters most. For example, some organization may perceive the following as what matters most:

• Honor may matter more than sales or success
• Protecting client relationships and goodwill may matter more than revenues
• Courteous, kind interactions with co-workers, management, and subordinates
• Providing the best possible service or product at the lowest possible cost
• Innovation and creativity in product development, research and design
• Moral and ethical leadership and practices may take priority over profits
• Sales, revenues, and profits may matter more than any other issue

Your mentor, supervisor, network of contacts can provide guidance and help you identify what matters most. You should establish charts, graphs, discussions, and other prompts to keep you focused on what matters most.

Avoid Distractions from What Matters Most

Distractions appear in every business and every situation. You may think that the majority of distractions will clearly declare themselves as low priority issues preventing you from focusing on what matters most. Occasionally, that may be. Frequently, distractions carry their own priority. For example:

• Procedural changes or requirements established by management may demand your attention
• Clients require attention that will not lead to immediate sales or success, but take your time and attention

Monday, October 7, we begin a new series about improving yourself to improve your career

This blog will improve as you submit comments, questions, and experiences. We will answer your questions in future blog posts. Please submit your comments and questions so we can answer them.

Surviving Poor Management 20: Too Much Passion Hurts

This continues our series on how to survive poor management at work and grow

Sam developed a good characteristic for working in a company with poor management. He did not allow problems to bother him. His pleasing personality did not mean that he did not care or passionately want to improve service and productivity. He stayed focused on what truly mattered. He gained respect and a reputation for mediating tense situations. As a result, he received assignments to key project teams that developed strategy for the entire company.

Healthy Harmonious Passion

A well-balanced, or even-keeled, temperament helps you cope with poor management. The Harvard Business Review published an excellent article titled Why Your Passion for Work Could Ruin Your Career. In the article Scott Barry Kaufman describes two kinds of passion: harmonious or obsessive. He writes

“Those with harmonious passion engage in their work because it brings them intrinsic joy. They have a sense of control of their work, and their work is in harmony with their other activities in life. At the same time, they know when to disengage, and are better at turning off the work switch when they wish to enjoy other activities or when further engagement becomes too risky. As a result, their work doesn’t conflict with the other areas of their lives. When they are at the opera, for instance, or spending time with their children, they aren’t constantly thinking of work, and they don’t report feeling guilty that they aren’t working. ”

Obstacles of Obsessive Passion

Kaufman continues “In contrast, those with obsessive passion display higher levels of negative affect over time and display more maladaptive behaviors. They report higher levels of negative affect during and after activity engagement; they can hardly ever stop thinking about their work, and they get quite frustrated when they are prevented from working. They also persist when it’s risky to do so (just like a pathological gambler). A reason for this is that their work forms a very large part of their self-concept.”

Friday we share how staying focused on what matters most helps with poor management

This blog will improve as you submit comments, questions, and experiences. We will answer your questions in future blog posts. Please submit your comments and questions so we can answer them.

Surviving Poor Management 19: Why Stay Unhappy?

This continues our series on how to survive poor management at work and grow

Madge had a good friend working in the same company as she did. This friend repeatedly expressed frustration with the management and direction of the company. She watched his attitude, and his health, deteriorate over four years. He began to negatively influence others within the company. Madge, as a good friend and colleague, intervened with her friend. She met with him a few times to vent his concerns and help him work through his frustration. Finally, she asked why he continued to work in a place that clearly did not enjoy. He intervention helped him begin reevaluating his employment and decide to find something that would make him happy.

Returning to Your Options

In earlier posts we shared options for coping with poor management. We explored the following options:

• Improve management within the company
• Accept management and press forward
• Leave and find a new job
• Leave and start your own company

Reasons People Stay in Unhappy Situations

Today, we wish to examine leaving the company for a new job from a different view. Why would you accept being unhappy, frustrated, or angry on your job.

You may stay in an unhappy situation for several reasons, including:

• Fear of the unknown future situations
• Aversion to most risks
• Cannot envision a different future
• Still harbor hope that it will return to the good you remember
• Appreciate your co-workers, clients, and vendors
• Tied to medical and other benefits at your current job

But, Really Why Stay in a Job That Makes You Unhappy

All of those reasons seem valid. However, at some point you must ask if all of those things really compensate for the unhappiness you feel. If not, why are you staying in a job that distresses and frustrates you? You should move to something that will not degrade your health, depress your spirits, or upset your family.

Sometimes, you don’t know all the reasons, but stay anyway. Your reason may even be irrational.

Wednesday we explore additional thoughts as we summarize how to survive poor management

This blog will improve as you submit comments, questions, and experiences. We will answer your questions in future blog posts. Please submit your comments and questions so we can answer them.

Surviving Poor Management 18: Don’t Canker Your Soul

This continues our series on how to survive poor management at work and grow

Saul had his own very successful business for more than 20 years. He decided to give something back to the world in his later years. He went to work for a nonprofit organization using his skills to improve the populations of third world countries. Unfortunately, the organization suffered from some very poor management. Saul experienced a lack of support and forced to work a lot of overtime. He tried to get relief from upper management, but was ignored. He let the problem canker his soul. He became bitter and angry. Today, almost 15 years after retiring, he still gets angry and tells relations and others about his horrible experience with poor management.

Do Not Suffer as a Victim

We work with thousands of people every year who feel compelled to repeatedly share the story of how they were misused or neglected by management . The need to inform people of how they were wronged by poor managements creates a victimization. They cannot move beyond the tragic events to improve their lives.

A speaker  recently  told how, when we allow perceived injustices to fester, they injure us more than those we blame. He encouraged us to follow Christ’s teachings and forgive those whose management makes our life harder.

Pray for Them That Despitefully Use You

The speaker cited Jesus Christ’s words from Luke 6:27-28 (King James Translation)

“But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.”

The effort to “pray for those who despitefully use you”, to wish them well instead of ill, lifts the heart. It brightens the countenance. Victor Frankel highlighted the beneficial impact on prisoners of war who found a way to forgive their jailers. Letting go of hurts is not the same as ignoring them. You must process your feelings through the anger and hurt—to let them go—until you feel better. 

Monday we begin closing this series with concluding observations and examples

This blog will improve as you submit comments, questions, and experiences. We will answer your questions in future blog posts. Please submit your comments and questions so we can answer them.

Surviving Poor Management 17: When You’re the Problem

This continues our series on how to survive poor management at work and grow

Brad worked for a company that he felt suffered from poor management. He frequently listed all the  reasons that he did not appreciate upper management. His continual criticisms and negativity affected co-workers and reduced morale. Imagine his surprise and embarrassment when his research into poor management highlighted several traits that Brad possessed. He began  changing his attitude, behavior, and management skills. It took years, but Brad transformed poor management skills into good management skills.

You May Be the Poor Manager

As you read the previous posts in this series, you may have recognized that you possess some of the traits of a poor manager outlined in the articles. We recognize that no one perfects management. Even the best managers make mistakes.

You may use several methods to explore your flaws:

• Read the articles listed in previous blogs and compare your behavior to the articles
• Make a list of traits outlined in the articles and conduct your own 360 evaluation by asking others to give you feedback
  • Co-workers or peers
  • Subordinates
  • Supervisors and managers
  • Clients or vendors

How Can You Fix your Own Poor Management

We affirm that everyone may change, at any age. Your mistakes today do not define your mistakes tomorrow. As Santana said “He that does not learn from his past is doomed to repeat it.” You may learn from your mistakes. You may change.

Several excellent researchers can teach you how to change to fix your poor management. We found the following books very helpful:

• The Influencer and Change Anything by the authors at VitalSmarts
• Leadership and the Art of Self-Deception by the Arbinger Institute
• Speed of Trust by Stephen M. R. Covey
• True North by Bill George

We also recommend Benjamin Franklin’s method of implementing a characteristic. He recounted how he focused on a trait for a week at a time. He found a week’s effort improved the virtue within his life. You may do the same.

Friday we summarize how to survive poor management at work and still grow your career

This blog will improve as you submit comments, questions, and experiences. We will answer your questions in future blog posts. Please submit your comments and questions so we can answer them.