Covey’s Speed of Trust 13: 5th & 6th Behaviors

This continues our review of Stephen M. R. Covey’s book The Speed of Trust. Buy the book Discover it for yourself.

People frequently violate Behavior 5, Show Loyalty, when they talk about people behind their back. You witness such disloyalty in informal settings at lunch or social activities after work. When someone leaves the group and others begin to criticize or gossip about them. People who do not show loyalty fail to recognize they pay trust tax. Trust also drops when you fail to Deliver Results or deliver them poorly. Deliver Results is the 6th Behavior to Relationship Trust (The 2nd Wave of Trust)

The 5th Behavior of Relationship Trust: Show Loyalty

Covey focuses on two dimensions to Show Loyalty: giving credit to others and speaking of people as though they were present.

• “Give Credit to Others…You not only affirm the value of an individual’s contributions, you also create an environment in which people feel encouraged to be innovative and collaborative and to freely share ideas, kicking in the geometric trust multiplier.”
  • The opposite is to take credit yourself for the work of others.
  • The counterfeit is to give credit to someone when they’re with you, but then downplay their contribution and take all the credit when they are not there.”
•  Talk About People as if They Were Present…The key is to talk in a way that shows respect. Defend them as if they were present. Don’t disclose private conversations. Go directly to the person with whom you have a concern
  • The opposite: criticize or not represent them fairly when they are not present.
  • The counterfeit: sweet-talk people to their faces and bad-mouth them behind their backs.

The 6th Behavior of Relationship Trust: Deliver Results

Covey writes “Results give you instant credibility and instant trust. They give you clout.”

• Results provide a powerful tool for building trust in your relationship with others. You must clarify “good”, “mediocre”, and “great” results.
• The opposite is performing poorly or failing to deliver
• The counterfeit is delivering activities instead of results

Wednesday we examine Covey’s 7th & 8th behaviors: Get Better & Confront Reality

Covey's Speed of Trust 12: 3rd & 4th Behaviors

We continue reviewing Stephen M. R. Covey’s book The Speed of Trust. I recommend you buy it. He teaches so many things to improve.

Here is a great example about Right Wrongs. A leader of a global nonprofit organization worried he had offended people in the past. He personally visited each person, apologized, and asked their forgiveness. His actions significantly increased trust in his leadership.

Behavior 3: Create Transparency

Covey states “Behavior 3—Create Transparency—is about being open.

• “It’s about being real and genuine and telling the truth in a way people can verify. It’s based on the principles of honesty, openness, integrity, and authenticity”
• “The opposite of Create Transparency is to hide, cover, obscure, or make dark. It includes hoarding, withholding, having secrets, and failing to disclose”
• “The counterfeit of transparency is illusion. It’s pretending, “seeming”, rather than “being,” making things appear different than they really are”

Here’s an ironic example of a trust tax paid for obscurity. A leader in a global organization asked his staff to read The Speed of Trust. Unbeknownst to him, executives were splitting the organization in two: giving international operations to one department, and domestic operations to another. The announcement, especially coinciding with the reading, decimated trust.

Behavior 4: Right Wrongs

Covey continues “Behavior 4—Right Wrongs—is more than simply apologizing; it’s also making restitution.”

• “It’s making up and making whole. It’s taking action. It’s doing what you can to correct the mistake…and then a little more.”
• “Right Wrongs is based on the principles of humility, integrity, and restitution. It’s opposite is to deny or justify wrongs, to rationalize wrongful behavior, or to fail to admit mistakes until you’re forced to do so.”
• “The counterfeit of Right Wrongs is to cover up. It’s trying to hide a mistake, as opposed to repairing it.”

“Even when you’re on the other end—when someone else has wronged you—there are important things you can do to help Right Wrongs and build trust.  By being forgiving, for example, you enable others to more easily apologize and make restitution to you.

Monday we explore behaviors 5 Create Transparency, 6 Right Wrongs

Covey’s Speed of Trust 11: 1st & 2nd Behaviors

This continues our review of Stephen M. R. Covey’s Speed of Trust. I still encourage you to buy the book and study it repeatedly

Covey cautions against behaving in extremes on any of the 13 behaviors. He uses a bell chart to emphasize the point. Divide the bell curve into four parts, call each a quartile.  The ends represent extremes. You behave too little in the first quartile and too much in the fourth quartile (two tales or ends) of the curve. We behave in the “sweet spot” in the second and third quartiles (the bulge of the curve). This applies equally to all 13 Behaviors.

Behavior 1: Talk Straight

• “Be honest. Tell the truth. Let people know where you stand. Use simple language. Call things what they are. Demonstrate integrity.”
• “The opposite of Talk Straight is to lie or to deceive
• “Counterfeit behaviors include beating around the bush, withholding information, double-talk (speaking with a forked tongue), flattery, positioning, posturing, and the granddaddy of them all: ‘spinning’ communication in order to manipulate the thoughts, feelings, or actions of others.”

Let me share an example. I worked for an organization that bred counterfeit behaviors. They appointed a new director. He talked straight. He never used hidden agendas or spun things. Previous administrations jaded us so badly that it took two years to recognize he talked straight. Trust built exponentially once we recognized this trait.

Behavior 2: Demonstrate Respect

• “There are two critical dimensions to this behavior—first, to behave in ways that show fundamental respect for people; and second, to behave in ways that demonstrate caring and concern.” Show respect in the little things.
• “The opposite  of Demonstrate Respect is to not respect other people.”
• “The counterfeit of Demonstrate Respect is to fake respect or concern, or, most insidious of all, to show respect and concern for some (those who can do something for you), but not for all (those who can’t).”

You can Talk Straight with less offense when you Demonstrate adequate Respect .

Friday we review the 3rd and 4th behaviors create transparency and right wrongs

Covey’s Speed of Trust 10: 2nd Wave—Relationship Trust

We continue our series reviewing Stephen M. R. Covey’s book The Speed of Trust. I encourage you to buy the book and study it multiple times.

Once you establish or reestablish self-trust (trusting yourself and others trusting you), you move to the second wave of trust: relationship trust. Covey writes “The Second Wave—Relationship Trust—is all about behavior…consistent behavior. It’s about learning how to interact with others in ways that increase trust and avoid interacting in ways that destroy it.”

Relationship Trust

Covey continues “More specifically, it’s about the 13 Behaviors that are common to high-trust leaders and people throughout the world. These behaviors are powerful because:

• They are based on principles that govern trusting relationships…
• They grow out of the 4 cores…
• They are actionable…
• They are universal…”

The author highlights the need to “If you’re not a caring person now—but you desire to be a caring person—then go out and behave in caring ways. If you’re not an honest person—but you desire to be honest—then go out and behave in honest ways. Just do what caring and honest people do. It may take time, but as you do these things, you can behave yourself into the kind of person you want to be.

Build Trust Accounts

Once again I quote Covey “As you work on behaving in ways that build trust, one helpful way to visualize and quantify your efforts is by thinking in terms of “Trust Accounts.”…By behaving in ways that build trust, you make deposits. By behaving in ways that destroy trust, you make withdrawals. The “balance” in the account reflects the amount of trust in the relationship at any given time.

The 13 Behaviors

He says '”I can promise you that these 13 Behaviors will significantly enhance your ability to establish trust in all relationships—both personal and professional:

1. Talk Straight
2. Demonstrate Respect
3. Create Transparency
4. Right Wrongs
5. Show Loyalty
6. Deliver Results
7. Get Better
8. Confront Reality
9. Clarify Expectations
10. Practice Accountability
11. Listen First
12. Keep Commitments
13. Extend Trust

We’ll review the behaviors in the next few posts.

Wednesday focuses on 2 behaviors of relationship trust—talk straight & demonstrate respect

Covey’s Speed of Trust 9: 4th Core of Credibility—Results

This continues our series reviewing Stephen M. R. Covey’s book The Speed of Trust. I highly recommend you buy the book, study it, and implement what you read.

Stephen M. R. Covey shares “Results matter! They matter to your credibility. They matter to your ability to establish and maintain trust with others. In the words of Jack Welch, having results is like having ‘performance chits’ on the table. They give you clout. They classify you as a performer. Without the results, you simply don’t have that same kind of clout.”

“Bottom line, without results, you don’t have credibility.”

Results—Past, Present, and Future

Covey continues “I have worked briefly on Wall Street and been an executive in a public company, and it’s clear to me that there are three key indicators by which people evaluate results.

• Past performance—your track record, your reputation, the things you’ve done, and the results you’ve already achieved.
• Current performance—how you are performing today
• Anticipated performance—how people think you will perform in the future

Ask What and How

He outlines “In considering results, you always need to ask two critical questions:

• What results am I getting?
• How am I getting those results?

“Most people only ask the what. They have no idea that the answer to the how may be doing them in…This is why I define leadership as getting results in a way that inspires trust.  I am convinced that with regards to results, the how matters every bit as much as the what.”

Improve Your Results

How can you improve results? I believe the three accelerators below are most effective:

• Take responsibility for results: “A results focus is a way of thinking. It’s a different mentality than an activities focus”
• Expect to win: “We tend to get what we expect—both from ourselves and from others. When we expect more, we tend to get more; when we expect less, we tend to get less”
• Finish strong: Results are about finishing. You’re probably aware of the old adage, Beginners are many; finishers are few.

Monday we will begin studying the 2nd wave of trust—relationship trust

Covey’s Speed of Trust 8: 3rd Core of Credibility—Capability

This continues our review of Stephen M. R. Covey’s book The Speed of Trust. I still suggest that you get it and read it repeatedly.

Self-trust (trust you place in yourself and the trust others place in you) is the first wave of trust. Credibility remains the foundation of self-trust. The four cores of credibility are integrity, intent, capability, and results. Integrity and intent enhance your character. Capabilities and results increase your competence. 

TASKS Describes Technical Abilities

Covey writes “One way to think about the various dimensions of capabilities is to use the acronym ‘TASKS’.”

• T=talents: “’Talents’ are those things that come to us naturally…As we think about our talents, we need to realize that we may have talents within us that we cannot currently know we have.”
• A=attitudes: “Consider the difference attitudes might make in your personal enjoyment of life and your ability to perform.” He warns you to beware of an attitude of entitlement. Entitlement depletes credibility fast.
• S=skills: “Unless you’re continually improving your skills, you’re quickly becoming irrelevant. And when you’re irrelevant, you’re no longer credible.”
• K=knowledge: “Increasing knowledge is vital in today’s global economy, where the world’s fund of information now doubles every two to two and half years.
• S=style: “Clearly there is a wide variety of effective styles. The challenge is to match the style to the highest effectiveness for the task. The problem comes when you have a ‘style’ that gets in the way and creates distrust.”

The author continues “The end in mind here is to develop our TASKS and to match them to the tasks at hand—to create the best possible alignment between our natural gifts, our passions, our skills, knowledge, style and the opportunity to earn, to contribute, to make a difference.”

How to Increase Your Capabilities

You can increase credibility by increasing capabilities:

• Run with your strengths (and your purposes) and then focus on engaging, developing, and leveraging what is distinctly yours
• Keep yourself relevant through life-long learning
• Know where you’re going demonstrates competence

Friday we will review the results, last core of credibility, in the 1st wave of self-trust

Covey’s Speed of Trust 7: 2nd Core of Credibility—Intent

This continues our series reviewing Stephen M. R. Covey book The Speed of Trust

The first wave of trust establishes trust in yourself. Stephen M. R. Covey describes four cores of credibility to establish self-trust. The first and second of the cores, integrity and intent, affirm your character. The third and fourth core, capabilities and results, affirm your competence. Trust drops when people either misunderstand or doubt your intent. So, let’s discuss how to clarify your intent to others.

What is Intent?

Covey writes “In the dictionary, intent is defined as ‘plan’ or ‘purpose.’ I am convinced that no discussion of intent would be complete without talking about three things: motive, agenda, and behavior.”

• “Motive is your reason for doing something…the ‘why’ that motivates the ‘what’. The motive that inspires the greatest trust is genuine caring—caring about people, caring about purposes, caring about the quality of what you do, caring about society as a whole”
• “Agenda grows out of motive. Its what you intend to do or promote because of your motive. The agenda that generally inspires the greatest trust is seeking mutual benefit."
• ”Behavior is the manifestation of motive and agenda. The behavior that best creates credibility and inspires trust is acting in the best interest of others.”

Misunderstandings about intent frequently reduce credibility. For example, you may ask a question during a meeting or webinar. Perhaps others in the meeting question your motive or assume you possess a hidden agenda.

How to Improve Intent

Covey continues “When we believe people truly are acting in our best interest, we tend to trust them. When we believe that they are not acting in our best interest, we do not trust them. It’s that simple. The challenge then, is to improve intent. So here are the top three accelerators I recommend to help you do it.”

• Examine and Refine Your Motives to verify why you do what you do
• Declare Your Intent in words everyone can understand
• Choose Abundance, not of scarcity, as a foundational element of improving intent

Wednesday we will review Stephen M. R. Covey’s 3rd core of credibility—capabilities