Rude and obnoxious behavior remains a major cause of stalled careers and terminations. Many times, you may not even recognize your behavior offends people. Conversations around the copier or after hours can deteriorate into unhelpful gossip, murmuring, and back-biting. All of these behaviors may lead to bad feelings, offended personalities, or reprimands.
What May Constitute Poor Behavior
I recognize the challenges affiliated with poor behavior. I created this problems for my own career on four different occasions. The first and second times, I did not recognize that my behavior offended people. The third time, I asked questions and opinions that appeared defensive and cantankerous. The fourth time, I doubted my superiors and murmured about their decisions. I made serious mistakes that cost me promotions and resulted in two demotions. My behavior was wrong and unprofessional.
Alina Tugend, at the New York Times, describes the descent into incivility occurring today. I suggest that you read the article.
Examples of cantankerous, obnoxious, and rude behavior include:
- Interrupting people, especially supervisors or management, when they are talking
- Try too passionately to influence or change decisions already made by management
- Raise your voice or use a tone that could be considered offensive or contentious
- Tell offensive jokes or stories that might make people uncomfortable
- Talk too loud in a cubicle environment, and take phone calls during meetings
- Gossip or back-bite about management and other workers to fellow workers
- Appear defensive or contentious in conversations, messages, or meetings
- Criticize, demean, or ridicule management, its directions, or its policies
Improve Your Behavior and Repair Relationships
Excellent books and training can help you learn to communicate more effectively. I suggest just a few:
- Crucial Conversations, Kerry Patterson and his colleagues at VitalSmarts
- Crucial Confrontations, again by Kerry Patterson and his colleagues at VitalSmarts
- 301 Smart Answers to Tough Business Etiquette Questions by Vicky Oliver
- Repairing Relationships is an article by Whitney Hoffman
Join me on Wednesday to find out how hygiene, dress, and appearance affects your career
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