Stephen M. R. Covey outlined how a loss of credibility lowers self-trust. Credibility depends on your character and competence. Character grows from trust in your integrity and intent. People judge your competence based on your capabilities and results.
Misconstrued Intent Lowers Trust
Covey defines integrity based on congruence, humility, and courage. When our actions are congruent with our principles our integrity increases
Intent also influences how much people trust you. People judge your intent based on your motive, your agenda, and your behavior. Once again, when people doubt or misunderstand any of these three their trust in you goes down.
Let me share a personal example..People frequently misunderstand my motives, my agenda, and, consequently, my behavior. For instance, I tend to ask questions other people have not considered. I consider myself pretty slow to grasp issues. My intent is to find answers to clarify my understanding or to probe future consequences of directives, policies, and procedures.
Unfortunately, I failed to communicate my intent or my motives. My tone of voice also indicated a defensiveness or resistance which were not part of my intent. As a result of both the tone of voice and my failure to communicate my intent, people considered me to be cantankerous and resistant to direction. One person stated they “cringed every time I said something in webinars.”
Clarifying Intent Increases Trust
The lack of trust in my intent and motivation, led to doubt about my character. The lack of trust in my character completely nullified trust in my capabilities or results. My competence counted for nothing because of my flawed character.
Reading Stephen M. R. Covey’s book The Speed of Trust highlighted my problems. I implemented several of Covey’s suggestions at a recent conference with my colleagues. I began sentences by defining my intent. I thought about my questions before I asked them. I found that people listened to me. My self-trust increased. Covey’s tips work. You can rebuild trust.
Friday we will analyze real world applications of problems with relationship trust
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